Violence Against Women: Why We Speak

"And it's a girl."

In many cultures, asking for the sex of a newborn is not uncommon. Many expectant parents have been heard to express the sex they wish their child to be. This is in no way a bad thing. From the most coveted #GirlDad fathers to "hoping it's a boy", there are many reasons why parents wish for a particular sex. 

However, this question coming from outsiders can be very cringey, as you never can tell what their intentions are. Particularly in African homes, the sex of a child is deemed important because "who is to 'carry on' the family's name?" Boys bring respect. Girls? Not so much. 

Every day, someone on the bird app is trying to make a grown man understand that women can and should have choices; in the replies is a battle between those coming to support/defend their masculinity and others arguing for its fairness.

Boys bring a sense of fulfillment; with their birth comes completion. Although many would argue this, incorporating Eve’s creation and her choice of the snack into our everyday lives is still one of the hurdles we face. After all, “Eve was created as a help to Adam.”

A list of gender-based clubs is quite the eye-opener: The Boys Brigade for instance was founded in 1883, while the Girls' Brigade was founded in 1893 (exactly 10 years later). The motto of the Girls brigade is "Seek, serve and follow Christ", while the aim is "To help girls become followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, and through self-control, reverence and a sense of responsibility to find true enrichment of life". It is important to note "self-control". The motto of the boys’ brigade? "Sure and steadfast".

Note the difference? The weak link.

The boys scout was founded in 1910 and its girl counterpart was founded in 1912. And no, the boys' and girls' scouts are not associated.

What is the relevance of this information? Might not mean much to you, however, boys have always been taught to act, be confident while girls have been told to serve and follow. Girls have always had to fight for a place to have their voice heard, even if meant doing so in "service", because, God forbid a girl has a proper voice of her own. Women have always sought to break stereotypes created because apart from maternity-related issues, women are weak. Or so, many have been told.

The 80’s and 90s - interesting times. Looking at the list of gender-based organizations we however have today brought tears to the eyes. Today, more organizations have been founded to fight against gender-based violence. This violence is mostly targeted at women. Some of these organizations started out to promote women networking and bridge gender gaps, but have had to take up cases of violence against women on the side. This violence includes targeted harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse. Every day, someone asks why women can’t just accept their position, after all, the best anyone can wish for is to be a help. The truth is, we can’t! These rules are man-made and will be changed. Now, if you are scared or wary of change, you need to check yourself.

Why do we speak? We speak to educate and cure ignorance, we speak because change is constant, we speak for the thousand and one girls who have accepted that this is how things will be forever; we speak to give them a choice, we speak for the million and one girls who have were killed or committed suicide because of gender-related crimes against them. Why do we speak? We speak to change we speak because we can.

Today, we walk on the shoulders of women like Ruth Bader Ginsburg who fought so women can have their voices heard. The fight continues and this is why we speak. Yes, it's a girl, and she's one of us now. Do better for her!