Taboos Around Feminine Health and Sexuality

When I started my period in year 10, the first thing I was told by a teacher I confided in was to make sure I’m extremely careful not to stain my school skirt during that time of month as it’s a sign of carelessness and unkemptness which are not attributes to aspire to as a young lady. No, I wasn’t told about the menstrual cycle or how to find the best feminine hygiene products for my flow, or how to navigate cramps and period diarrhea. Instead, I was made to feel like being on your period somehow made you unclean, and this was something I should be ashamed of.

Whether its menstrual health, menopause, or masturbation, women’s health topics are severely misunderstood and rarely talked about in many communities. This means that young, vulnerable women struggle to access important health information that is deemed inappropriate to talk about in everyday settings. From girlhood, women are fed a narrative that we must look pretty, remain flawless and aspire to physical perfection. We’re taught to hide certain parts of our lives that don’t meet this impossible standard. This conditioning alone has led to years of feminine health and sexuality topics being shrouded in secrecy and young girls and women feeling like they need to figure things out in private and often alone.

Taboos work on the principle of forbidding a group of individuals from certain kinds of behaviour. It works hand in hand with ‘shame’ to deter people from doing things. These mechanisms are incredibly powerful in stopping women from sharing our experiences with each other and finding ways to manage said. In this article I explore some topics that are still considered taboo or improper to talk about and the consequences that this lack of discussion and representation has on women and girls today. 

Firstly, menopause will affect half the world’s population at some point in their lives, but it’s still rarely acknowledged or spoken about in mainstream media and scientific research. Menopause is often side lined and seen as a natural part of women’s lives, but no one considers how devastating and life changing the symptoms can be as it brings with it feelings of confusion, depression, and exhaustion. Many women have admitted that they find it hard to keep up with a daily routine with all the changes in their body that happens during menopause. This lack of discussion surrounding menopause means that most women are unprepared for it when it eventually comes knocking and suffer the symptoms in silence when they shouldn’t have to. A study carried out by the Nuttfield Health Group showed that 45% of women in the UK failed to recognise that they could be experiencing menopause symptoms. The severe lack of representation when it comes to menopause can be linked to how society views aging. Menopause is seen as a sign of one getting older and society doesn’t look positively on aging especially when it comes to women. The key to breaking this taboo is to normalise this part of life by encouraging women to be open with sharing stories of their experience and listening attentively to family, friends and colleagues going through this stage in life. 

Menstruation is another aspect of women’s lives that is too often overlooked. As normal as periods are a common narrative in many communities around the world is that women should bear menstrual pain or go through this cycle every month without talking about it. There is urgent need for De-stigmatization of the conversation around menstrual health as the consequences for young girls are quite fatal. Misconceptions and lack of understanding of menstruation and the cycle have led to women and girls being excluded and isolated from various roles within their communities.  Cultural stigmas around menstruation also influence how women and girls manage their health and hygiene. For example, in some communities in Afghanistan it is believed that washing your genitals or body during menstruation can lead to infertility, this discourages women and girls from doing this and leaves them vulnerable to infections. 

It can be argued that in recent times, female pleasure has gotten a bit more of a spotlight in the media with the various sex positive Netflix shows, books and podcasts exploring this topic. However, one can still see instances of this type of content being deemed inappropriate for consumption by women and young girls. EVERYONE is taught about pleasure for boys through education at school, movies, and even adverts whereas female pleasure is rarely acknowledged or labelled too obscene to talk about. In 2017, social media content creator ‘Zoella’ was added to the GCSE media curriculum in the UK as an example of analysis of online social media. However, in 2021 she was removed from the curriculum following backlash from parents after she shared an article titled ‘best sex toys to spice up your life in 2021’ on her lifestyle blog. Instances like these reinforce the narrative that women and young girls shouldn’t explore or acknowledge their sexuality. It sends across a message to young girls that there is something wrong with discussing their sexuality or learning about it.  This lack of education around female sexuality and pleasure in turn fuels the orgasm gap which explains the disparity between heterosexual men and women when it comes to sexual satisfaction. 

The key to breaking this taboo lies largely in sex education reform in schools. Messaging to young girls should reinforce that their sexual pleasure matters and should not just be focused on how to prevent teenage pregnancy or hide their desires to explore their bodies. Lucy Litwack, the CEO of Coco de Mer contends that ‘female pleasure is integral to female empowerment’. When women are allowed to explore their desires and needs in an environment that is free of shame and judgment it has the effect of boosting self-confidence which goes a long way in achieving an equal relationship with men in this regard. 

Talking openly about menstruation, menopause, masturbation, and female pleasure would contribute to eliminating the ring of shame and stigma that has surrounded these topics for decades. Asides from encouraging open discussion between women, a major societal shift is needed to break these taboos. Girls need to know that it’s okay to hand your friend a pad in public without covering it in the pages of a book, and it’s okay to say you’re in pain because you’re on your period and it’s also okay to explore your sexuality through masturbation without feeling guilty about these things. It’s up to the next generation to open up the conversation about what women go through and finally bring these topics into the light.