Lessons From Our Mothers

Today is Mother’s Day in the United States and many other countries throughout our world, and as many of us remain in our homes this day can feel unlike any other Mother’s Day we may have celebrated before. We acknowledge those who have lost their mother’s, those who long to be mothers, those who didn’t plan to be mothers and all of the experiences in between.

We chose to honor our mother’s today by sharing some memories and lessons from members of our team. 

Mimi, 25

Abuja

Describe a moment where you got in trouble. How did your mother respond?

When I was in primary school I had this friend that brought her PTA fee to school and asked us to follow her to the school shop. She proceeded to buy us things, and unknown to us it was her PTA fee she used. Her mum came to school to pick my so-called friend and she called me out for eating her money. My mom was called into school. She stormed in with so much frustration in her eyes and when we got home my mum beat the hell out of me. 

How have you understood womanhood as you’ve grown up?

My mum was a working mum. It was difficult working and also caring for children in a tight environment, but it has really sharpened my mind to really work hard and have ownership over my life. I saw my mother go through so much even though she had a husband so it has really instilled in me the importance of developing myself.

Funke, 26

Lagos

What is your earliest memory with your mom? 

My mom traveled to Aba before we resumed school to buy textbooks, school bags, and the likes. It was a ritual up until I was in SS1. I can also remember going to the salon twice a month, usually on Sunday evenings, to make our hair.

Describe a moment where you got in trouble. How did your mother respond?

I was rude to a teacher and my mom taught in the same school. I was so sure that I’d get flogged for it but thankfully I didn’t. Instead, she asked me if I’d be happy if a student had treated her the same way. 

Was there something your maternal figure did that you swore you would never do yourself? Has that changed?

Yes, she gave up a lot to be a mom. I appreciate it but I also wish she lived a fuller life. I won’t know if that has changed until I’m a mom and have to make similar decisions. 

How have you understood womanhood as you’ve grown up? 

I grew up in a patriarchal home and even though my father was kind, my mom had to tolerate so many excesses that made womanhood look so unfair. Now that I’m grown, I understand that I was thinking along the right track, and it’s truly unfair. I don’t consider it beautiful at all. 

Did your mom work? What was that like and did it influence your career aspirations?

My mom worked because she didn’t want to be idle. Her income was largely inconsequential. Watching that pay off unfairly, as we experienced a narrow escape from abject poverty, I ended up being independent and unwilling to have inconsequential income. Money gives you authority and agency. That’s not something that anyone just lets you have, no matter how much they love you. It’s human behaviour. 

What do you want your future children to know about motherhood or womanhood? 

Suffering, pain and endurance are not worth it, on earth and in heaven. Don’t subscribe for any of it and even though the world says that’s how you have to live, believe me when I say it’s a lie. Choose happiness and fulfillment every time.

Mide, 29

Ibadan

Describe a moment where you got in trouble. How did your maternal figure respond?

I almost always got into small small trouble with her growing up. This one time she sent me on an errand, I got carried away playing, she got back and beat me well.

How would you want to discipline your own children?

A little bit of everything but all in love and with respect.

How have you understood womanhood as you’ve grown up?

It’s the purest love there is.

What do you want your future children to know about motherhood/womanhood? 

“I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.” - Emma Stone

Happy Mother’s Day to all our mothers today. We see you and we love you.